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[Allison wants to say something about the flash of light and the puddle, but he immediately distracts her by having a reason to be here, so she'll just file it away to come back to later.]

Is something wrong?

[She asks, because when isn't anything wrong.]

[ That question shouldn't make him laugh, but he can't help it. There's so many things wrong that he barely has the time to list them all. ]

I just came back from filling Ben in. There's been some developments. [ He has a feeling this will go differently with Allison. She might rip the paper up as soon as he hands it to her, but he pulls it from his pocket and holds it out anyway. He can fill her in after she reads it. ]

I found that this morning. [ And before she can assume: ] They're wrong. I didn't request anything from anyone, they just... picked up on it.

[Allison takes it and reads it over twice - the first time to learn the information and the second time to actually process it. The wording is so careful, and they're so clear about what they're asking, that it doesn't seem like there's any room for wiggle room about this.]

About Viktor, I'm assuming?

[ He nods, then frowns that she has to ask. ]

I haven't forgotten anyone else since then. [ In case she's concerned he's screwed up more behind her back. That was a one-time regret, but he knows his track record hasn't been stellar. If the fact that he's asking advice is any indicator, he's learned something since he's been here. There's just not many he can turn to anymore outside of family.

He studies her, trying to assess what she thinks before she says it. ]

You think it's a bad idea.

[Well.

The problem is, Viktor is tied to so much of the major events in his life that Five not remembering him is a problem. Viktor causes the first apocalypse, Viktor makes things worse in the sixties - and more to the point, she knows that they were close. There are likely important memories in there that he deserves to have.

But is it worth losing another sibling? No. Allison wouldn't say so.

She pauses, before passing the note back.]

I don't know what Ben said, but if you're going to do it, I would choose option two.

[ Allison is surprisingly more open to the idea. Of course, Five never once considered trading memories of another sibling. The ripples might be different, but he'd suffer the same. ]

Ben thinks I should make peace with not remembering. [ It's a valid argument. The chances are high that there's more that they aren't saying that makes the trade a lot less even than it sounds on paper. ] I know what Wrath would say. It took me years to accept his help, and I trusted him more. The magic is different, we don't know enough about the spell that was done on me, things could go horribly wrong.

It's just... losing one of you was the biggest mistake I've made since I've been here. I can't say it isn't tempting.

Under normal circumstances, I might agree with Ben.

[Sometimes you gamble and you lose, and you have to face the consequences. But this isn't normal circumstances. Viktor is never a normal circumstance.]

But Viktor is tied to too many important things. Every apocalypse you've been through goes back to Viktor in some way. I think it's your choice, and maybe not is the smarter choice, but if you're going to, I'd take the one where you get the context even if you don't have the feelings.

[ Mingyu really screwed him up. Only Five knows what it feels like to have so many holes in his memory, but Allison is the one with the full context. She knows what Viktor meant to him, she's seen him struggling since it happened, and tried to help before the risks seemed too great.

He expected a resolute answer between the two of them, so it's interesting where they differ. ]

Is that what you'd do?

[She doesn't know if she can answer that question.

Her feelings about Viktor are complicated. A bitter part of her would probably take the option where she doesn't have to remember him at all, but she also knows that not all of it is Viktor's intention. And maybe, if she doesn't have her feelings towards Viktor, maybe his actions wouldn't sting as much.

But maybe forgetting is better, in that respect. Maybe letting the memories of her brother go would be the best course, given that they'd be starting from somewhat scratch if they ever met again. She leans back in her seat, weighing the pros and cons when in the end she know none of that matters because she knows what she's losing.

Five doesn't know what he stands to gain.]

I don't know. I haven't had to live with the apocalypse the way you have. And with the way things have been with me and Viktor back home, maybe it would be actually better for us if I forgot him. Or not felt anything about him at all.

But that's easy for me to say when I know what I'm giving away.

[ Five watches her, silent but intently listening in a way he rarely does. Allison has had the burden of knowing more about the future than him for months. He knows how an apocalypse on the horizon tends to make tensions boil over, up to the point they don't matter, because the world is ending and there's no time.

They haven't talked about it in a while. Since he still hasn't made up his mind, he allows a detour. They've never all just been... happy, but without his memories of Viktor, he can only rely on her side of the story. ]

Things got that bad?

He slit my throat, Five. I couldn't even tell my daughter goodbye the first time around.

[And that isn't the same. That's not closure.]

And I had been willing to set that aside, but then he kept the secret of how the kugelblitz started from the rest of us and let me unknowingly help him do that, knowing what it cost me. Viktor ... he keeps smashing through the world wanting to have it his way and not caring who gets hurt and never apologizing for any of it and I was sick of it. I'm still sick of it.

[The anger is a little lessened without having to deal with Viktor every day, but it still hurts.]

[ Of course he remembers Allison's throat. He focuses on that, because how he could forget something that traumatizing? It hurts to think about his family turning against each other, as it should, but trying to call up his memory of that time brings a familiar spike of a migraine. His forgotten sibling slit her throat, then betrays them again in the future.

It was that bad. He can see it on Allison's face. Stupid question. If nothing else, he remembers how angry she was when she came back the last time she took a trip through the beacon. ]

I don't blame you. [ It must add insult to injury that Five can't remember, back then or what he does in the future. The more he tries, the more his body seems to revolt. ] I'm sorry. For what he did, and for not doing more. I was... that week didn't go the way I hoped it would. From what I remember.

[ He winces and gives a small, pained smile. Apologetic. All this time, he's barely asked how she's dealing with all this. ]

Understatement. I shouldn't be surprised that the future doesn't go much better.

Sometimes I think you were right. That if we keep trying to save the world it's just going to keep trying to end. That we're just ... delaying the inevitable.

[But she thinks of the hope of Claire on the other side and feels like she needs to keep herself going, no matter what. She pauses, then shakes her head.]

But that's not important right now. What's important is you deciding what to do about your memories of Viktor.

[ It pains him to hear that coming from her. He's thought it before, and knowing what happens in the future, he can see what might drive his decision to let the world end. Dying with his family is far better than surviving alone.

She turns it back to the reason he came here. His head still vibrates from his effort to force a memory to come, and a small protective part of him wants to know if there are any other ugly truths she hasn't uncovered. He wants to remember how he felt. ]

...I can't keep going on like this. [ He hadn't expected to say that, but there's a reason they wrote to him. They knew he was desperate to remember. ] I can't factor for what happens in the future without memory of the person who seems to cause it every single time.

[She nods, which is why it was her recommendation to go with option two. Sure, Viktor might be hurt if he ever shows up here to learn that Five doesn't feel the same way about him, but better than forgetting Viktor entirely.]

Do you want me to try and rumor you again?

[ He wasn't expecting the offer after she decided against it before, but maybe it's different now that he's leaning towards a possibly worse deal. It's kind of her. Just because she's willing doesn't mean she's thrilled. There's just no time to come up with something better.

After a moment of studying her, he nods back. For all their talk, there are some fairly obvious things they haven't tried. ]

Why not? [ He knows why not, but his head is still aching from trying to remember earlier and he could have had a cure in front of him the entire time. ] I'm not locked into any contract, I can walk away if it works.

[Allison nods, taking a deep breath and choosing her words carefully. She doesn't want to break anything, and her powers have leveled up a bit since she last tried so maybe it's best to just keep it simple.]

Remember Viktor.

[ Five doesn't remember to brace himself when she skips the "I heard a rumor" part of her powers. For half a second as it takes effect he thinks it might just be that simple. Then, all at once, that drumming of a headache that was only starting to surface hits him like a sledgehammer.

It doesn't stop. Her command slams up against whatever magic has kept his brother locked away in his brain, repeating over and over as he tries to break through and make sense of the holes that he hasn't had the tools to repair. He has no idea if anything he shouts is coherent and it's impossible to think, let alone force his memories back into place.

Blood rains down from his nose and he clamps his hand over it. He isn't aware of when he falls to the ground, only that he's suddenly looking up at Allison when he opens his eyes. It feels like his brain is on fire. His mouth opens to say something, ask for help, but all that comes out is a roar of pain. ]

[Oh no. Oh no no no no no that's what she was worried about. She scrambles quickly to support him, grabbing something to try and stop the blood before she says.]

Stop. Stop.

[ Allison shouts and the pain ebbs abruptly. Five looks at her, wide-eyed as he makes sense of what just happened. He hadn't fully believed them when they said it was too dangerous. Now he can say he understands.

That asshole really did a number on him. He feels something near his face and takes it to wipe at the blood. He's surprised at how much there is when he pulls it back. ]

Shit. [ That's all he says as he works to sit himself back up, then groans with more enthusiasm as he clutches at his head in pure frustration. ] Shit.

[Allison hovers close, almost as though she's worried he's going to pass out with the amount of blood, but he seems to be fairly clear.]

Are you good? Are you feeling woozy?

[ Five pulls his hand back and looks at the blood he soaked up with it. More than he expects to see. His head still throbs, but it's residual now. Another drop of blood falls, so he tilts his chin back and keeps the cloth to his nose while it dries up.

It must have looked like he was having a seizure. He doesn't want that hanging over Allison's head, even if she just proved that everything they warned him was true. ]

I guess that answers that. [ Unfortunately. Fuck. ] Turns out you were right.

I didn't want to be.

[She would have much rather provided him with a simple solution. But that leaves his options limited.]

So what are you going to do?

[ He looks at the ceiling and changes his answer to that question about ten times before he says anything. ]

I don't know, Allison. [ It's been so long since he lost his memories, but it seems more urgent to fix it now. Big choices are coming, and he'd like to be fully himself when he makes them. ]

There's a chance this happens if I go to them. But there's also a chance... [ He leans forward and lowers the cloth. For a moment he's transfixed by the stain and he sighs with his entire body. ] Ben's not going to be happy.

Ben is rarely happy.

[Which isn't entirely true, but more to the point Ben is rarely happy with his sibling's choices. Even when they were children there was always this put upon sigh as he went along with his siblings antics.]

But I'm fairly certain Klaus has done worse.

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